THE RULES FOR FIGHTING FAIR

These rules are created for and applied explicitly to married couples.

However, these can apply to any relationship.

Never go to bed angry!

Even if it means staying up half the night, resolve your problems, or they will worsen the next day.

Once an argument has been resolved, it is against the rules to bring it up again in another argument.

Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

Ephesians 4:26‭-‬27 RSV

Anger is when sin strongly presents itself as a temptation to violence or other retaliatory action directed against the object of one’s anger.

Anger is even attributed to God Himself; therefore, the teaching cannot mean it is a sin to be angry.

Some things certainly should arouse the emotion of anger in Christian hearts. The most ineffective person on earth would be one incapable of being angry.

Even when anger comes, it must be terminated quickly.

Sundown is the time for removing anger from the heart.

When anger remains, it can corrupt and destroy every virtue of the soul.

Paul recognized the devil as a personal enemy of Christians, and in this, he followed the Saviour who taught people to pray, “Deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6:13).

Satan in this verse appears as a being operating against Christians, and the warning is that they should not allow any room for the devil’s operations, as would be done if anger should be retained in the heart.

If it is forgiven it must be forgotten!

Christ remits sin. He forgives it!

This is the significant difference between the new covenant and the old covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-35), that God indeed forgives sin, removing it as far as the east is from the west, as far as the bottom of the sea, forgiving sin so completely that God will not even remember it anymore!

How excellent is the thought that God will remember sin no more, especially when people themselves cannot forget it.

FORGIVE, FORGET, and bring it up no more in your marriage relationship.

Stick to the topic.

If you are trying to resolve a significant difference, do not pull in any of your “little pet peeves” that have nothing to do with the argument.

  • Be willing to “hear each other out.”
  • Do not let your disagreement degenerate into a shouting match where neither party listens.
  • Be willing to see where your partner is “coming from.”
  • They may have a legitimate complaint.
  • Do not be so blinded by your view that you cannot see your partners’ view.
  • Be willing to admit when you have been wrong and apologize.
  • Pridefully refusing to admit your fault will only build walls of separation in your marriage.
  • But humbly admitting your guilt will build your character and a stronger bond with your mate. (THAT GOES FOR BOTH HUSBANDS AND WIVES!)

Be willing to accept your mate’s apology.

It takes humility and courage for your partner to admit their fault.

You, at least, be willing to accept their apology graciously.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN.

So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Matthew 18:21‭-‬22‭, ‬35 RSV

After all, is said and done, kiss and makeup.

Nothing brings more peace and harmony into a marriage than a tender embrace after an argument.

It is like a calm after the storm.

Do not rob yourself of these moments.

Above all: With Jesus as your example and guide, make the selfless love of God the very center of your relationship.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬8 RSV

The reason so many marriages end in divorce is that either one or both partners enter marriage with self-centered thinking and motives.

Marriage as God Intended It Requires A Common Goal and a Common Bond.

This common bond must be centered on God. The right priorities must be centered on your faithful following our Lord Jesus Christ.

When both husband and wife put God first in their marriage and lives, blessings will follow.

You will be blessed with agape love, long, healthy lives, and your Earthly needs provided by our Heavenly Father.

God provides for His children!

#1 GOD!

#2 MAN + WOMAN = MARRIAGE

#3 Children | Extended Family| Church

Pray together!

Pray for your marriage, forgiveness of sins, and for the mercy of your souls.

Pray always, 24/7

Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Luke 17:3‭-‬4 RSV

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